Peter Bakalian

   The Official Peter Bakalian Site     
Air Conditioned for your Comfort.

Yo! Look what's coming August 8, 2023!

Yeah, we made another one.

PreOrder it April 26 - 28 at Barnes & Noble get 25% Off!

Why are we doing this? Because you're cheap. And there's nothing wrong with that! 

Peter Bakalian

Why F.A.R.T.?

Hi! Thanks for stopping by!  As you can see, we have some really nice fonts. Please, help yourself. Some folks have asked me: What inspired you to write a book called F.A.R.T.? Well, like you, I enjoy a cheap laugh now and then, but honestly, it started with my son. He turned out great, but like every new parent I was worried at the beginning. 

Then, one night while driving home I heard this commercial:
  “Parents! You can have a well-behaved child in less than 30 minutes.   We know the secret. We’re scientists. Order the last parenting manual you’ll ever need!

I almost drove off a cliff. 30 minutes? That’s it? I would have paid these guys anything they wanted!

THEN IT HIT ME: what if my kid reads it? He’d know the secret. He could turn around and use it against me!  Luckily I realized that this had to be hype.  Got me to thinking though -- if this manual were real, what would it look like?

It would have to be a SECRET MANUAL.  Not the way these loudmouths were going about it.  Its authors wouldn’t be scientists; they’d be parents– grizzled, kid-weary parents  sharing every time-tested dirty trick they ever knew.  And this SECRET SOCIETY would need a name, something that wouldn’t arouse suspicion - Families Against Rotten Teens (F.A.R.T). That sounded right.  If kids found out, who would take them seriously about a thing called FART?

You couldn’t buy this manual, but one day a book may arrive in the mail.  It may look like a cookbook, but its cover would disguise its secret content. Yes, F.A.R.T  decided that you were a worthy new parent and sent you a manual. You’d be in on it.  You would be THEM. And it would feel great. Unless your kids get a hold of it. 

In fact, one does. That’s what the book is about.  I hope you enjoy it!